A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the manager his application. The manager begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.

“I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible. You’ve been fired from every job.”

“Yes,” says the man.

“Well,” continues the manager, “There’s not much positive in that.”

“Hey!” says the guy as he pokes the application. “At least I’m not a quitter.”

An old blacksmith realised he was working too hard, so he picked a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old man was very mean and demanding.

“Don’t ask questions!” he shouted to the boy. “Just do whatever I tell you to do.”

One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. “Get the hammer over there,” he said. “When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard.”

Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

1. If it rings, put it on hold.
2. If it clunks, call the repairman.
3. If it whistles, ignore it.
4. If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.
5. If it’s the boss, look busy.
6. If it talks, take notes.
7. If it’s handwritten, type it.
8. If it’s typed, copy it.
9. If it’s copied, file it.
10. If it’s Friday, forget it!

John decided he needed a day off. So he climbed to the ceiling and shouted, “I’m a light bulb...I’m a light bulb!!!!” The boss decided John was too stressed said, “I think you need the day off. Go home right now!”

Ted, who had been observing this, suddenly got up from his desk and followed John out. The boss asked him, “And where do you think you’re going?” Ted replied, “You can’t expect me to work in the dark.”

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